


Severus Snape: Batman of the Dungeons

by LunasaCailin



Series: Early FanFic Attempts [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bored Snape, Crack, Gen, Not Romance, Parody, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-30
Updated: 2010-01-30
Packaged: 2018-03-23 05:28:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3756166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunasaCailin/pseuds/LunasaCailin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus Snape's drunken nighttime adventure . Pure hilarity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Severus Snape: Batman of the Dungeons

**Author's Note:**

> Rated T for very mild language and drunkenness just to be safe.
> 
> This is one of the first fanfics I wrote.
> 
> I don't own anything from J.K.R. or Batman...I am merely using them in my evil plot of world domination via fanfiction.

** Severus Snape: Batman of the Dungeons **

 

Severus Snape potions master, head of Slytherin house at Hogwarts, exonerated Death Eater, war hero, greasy git, and bat of the dungeons, was drunk. Completely, head-over-heels, sloshed. He was reclining on his bed at some ungodly hour of the morning with a half-empty glass of fire whiskey in one hand, and a half-empty bottle of the fiery alcohol in the other. His green silk sheets were pooled around his hips, and his bare chest rose and fell smoothly with each breath. The telly and vcr/dvd combo given to him by Hermione Granger, Charms mistress of Hogwarts who used her talents to enable the devices to work without electricity, flickered in the dark chamber as the credits of Batman Forever rolled over the screen for the eleventh time that day.

 

Now Snape didn’t always spend the day, sunup to way past sundown, in his bed watching the same movie over and over, but he figured that he was due a vacation before school resumed. He drained the contents of his glass one final time before pulling himself out of his bed and pulling on the billowy black teaching robes that had earned him the title Bat of the Dungeon.

 

He slipped out of his dungeon apartment and made his way silently to the kitchens. Well…as silently as one could when they were completely pissed. About half-way down the hall where the kitchens were located he bumped into a suit of armor, rather hard apparently, because the suit fell to the ground with a loud, echoing clang. He fought hard to restrain a giggle (That’s right. I said it. Snape…giggled!) as he pulled the suit armor upright and leaned it against the wall.

 

“Sorry old chap! Hallooooo! Hallooooooo! Anybody there?” silence. “Well bugger off then!” he cried loudly and staggered off in the direction of the kitchens still giggling madly.

 

He was bent over a counter cutting slices off of a block of cheese (something one should never attempt when drunk) when the portrait guarding the entrance to the kitchens swung open once more.

 

“Severus?”

 

Severus paused mid-slice and glanced over his shoulder at Hermione.

 

“Noooooooo.” He said, drawing out the word like a guilty little kid might do.

 

“Oh really. Well then, who are you?”

 

Snape swung around with both of his arm stuck straight out and a flap of his robes clutched in each hand, so that the robes fanned out below his arms like the wings of a bat.

 

“Iiiiiii’m BATMAN!” he cried, before falling to the floor in another fit uncontrollable giggles.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it, please review and let me know what you think. Friend me on facebook under the username LunasaCailinMactire for updates on my writing. https://www (dot) facebook (dot) com/LunasaCailinMactire


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